| Becky and
I met while working for Tandy Corp. in 1978. She was
fresh out of high school and I had been working to
support my mom for several years. I spent so much time
working overtime that I never developed much of a social
life, so the dating game was not yet something that I had
made great strides in. My job as quality assurance
manager was to check the work of the factory assemblers.
Becky didn't much like me looking over her shoulder and
checking up on her work. I must confess to occasionally
sabotaging a product to see if she would catch it.
Usually she did but I didn't make any brownie points.
Eventually we struck up a friendship and began dating in
secret. We kept it quiet as long as we could but it was
difficult hiding the fact that you care for someone when
you are near them and a lot of other co-workers. We got
teased a lot. We dated through most of 1979 and were
married on November 10. We both married the first and
only person we ever dated.
Within a year of getting married , my photography hobby was looking like it could become a business. Becky was very supportive of me and we did our first wedding in 1980. After two years of working out of the house it was clear that we needed a place to run a business. We located a store front and began Photography by Scott with our small savings. We retained our regular jobs for about a year and a half, working the studio by appointment. Eventually we made the big decision to quit our jobs and run the studio as a full time business. We wanted a family and after being married for three years decided it was time to have a baby. This was to be a dream unfulfilled for many years. We never knew why but God has His own time for us and it would be thirteen years after our marriage before we finally and quite unexpectedly found ourselves expecting a baby. There were no happier people anywhere in the world. We made it our business to do everything right to insure that all would be well with our little one. Even though we did everything right, Becky had morning sickness for nearly nine months. All day long. Even the day before she gave birth. I was helpless to do anything but try to make her feel better anyway I could. We fixed up the back room of the house with a carousel theme which would be fine be it a girl or a boy. We had a love for carousels and always wanted a carousel room in our home. This gave us the opportunity. I painted large carousel horses on the walls and glued on hundreds of gem stones to add sparkle. Over the crib I painted a four foot wide carousel with over a thousand gem stones attached. The special room was now ready. Jennifer Jane Smith was born within a day of Thanksgiving in 1992. Becky was in labor for about 16 hours. We had plenty of great help at the hospital as we were the only ones delivering at that moment. I had hoped for a perfect 8 X 10 but Jennifer weighed in at just 7 pounds 15 1/2 ounces. That first Christmas was the most magical time in our lives. We had the house totally decorated for the holidays and the new baby just made life perfect for us. We were in complete heaven. We now had the perfect excuse to use more film at the studio. Jennifer was with us at all times and she had her own special area at the studio. We could work and play with her throughout the day. We loved being close to her. Seems a day hardly went by where I wouldn't have a few frames left on a roll of film at the end of a sitting. Well I had to use it for something didn't I? We averaged about 6 to 7 sittings with Jennifer every week. Some were only a couple of frames but that's usually all it took. She was a natural in front of the camera. She was always happy and we didn't have to do much to get a nice smile. In addition, Becky always seemed to have a new and colorful outfit for her that I hadn't seen before. Our collection of portraits of Jennifer grew everyday, just as she did. When Jennifer turned three, we decided that if there was going to be a little brother, now was the time. As before, it just didn't seem to be in the cards. I was approaching forty and we didn't want to wait another thirteen years so we sought medical help to try and speed things along. Several months into these new and expensive efforts we made a visit to the doctor for a different reason. It was not a pleasant visit and Becky was scheduled for a surgical biopsy a few days latter. On February 13, 1996, her surgeon walked into the waiting room and told me that my wife had cancer. I asked him what I already knew. Was this a life threatening situation? He said, "Yes it is." Life changed forever at that moment as it does for anyone given the diagnosis of the "c" word. Becky had breast cancer. The doctor told me that she already knew and that I could see her in recovery. The 60 foot walk to her bedside was the longest walk of my life. We could see each other as I got closer. There were no words. The faces said everything there was to say. We just held on to each other and cried. The feeling of helplessness was overwhelming. The first few days after such a revelation are a time of shock, confusion and education. Everything you didn't want to know about this evil disease is thrown at you. Information about how to treat it, what the survival statistics are and a host of other things that you just aren't ready for but must face anyway. We made appointments to visit several doctors and oncologists to see what the recommended course of action was. In the end, everyone pretty much agreed that her best chances were to have a mastectomy followed by chemotherapy and radiation. After that, she would be on a special drug for five years to reduce the chances of a reoccurrence. Following her surgery and recovery, there would be yet more surgeries to install and later remove a catheter port near her shoulder so chemotherapy could be given more easily than though a vein. The weeks of chemo were terrible. Her nausea was relentless. I had to keep track of about a dozen different types of pills to cope with the sickness and other things. Her white cell count got so low that I had to give her shots of a very expensive drug twice a day to help her build up more white cells. Each shot was then worth $150.00. During this time I still had to try and run a studio and take care of a three year old who didn't understand what was going on, just that she couldn't jump and play in mommy's lap and that mommy was in bed all of the time. At this point I should mention the incredible outpouring of love and help from people within the professional photography community. You just don't know what kind of profession you are in until something like this happens. Then you find out just what a big family the photographic profession is. Word spread quickly and we received offers to do weddings for us, sittings, you name it. People just said they would do whatever we needed done. The most important thing that they did was to keep us in their prayers. We received hundreds of cards and letters. Each and every time we received one from one of those wonderful people, we cried together. The love shown to us was unbelievable. Eventually she got through the chemo and then the radiation and then we celebrated life and the end of the treatments. We could now regain our lives and try and rebuild our future. We would never again have a chance to have children but we had Jennifer and would enjoy our family, small as it was.Being a family was always very important to Becky and I. So important that when Becky was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1996, we made a very difficult business decision. We gave up doing weddings. It was bad for business and our medical debt situation but our family time on the weekends had to come first and I will never regret making that decision. We learned that each day in life is precious and should be savored as a gift from God. I like to say that there are two days in every week that we shouldn't worry about. Yesterday and tomorrow. We should all try to enjoy and savor each day while it's here. It is truly a gift. Time slips away so quickly. If we don't stop and look around, we just might miss something. Once you
have cancer, you must make regular visits to the doctor
to make sure things are looking good. Becky got good
report after good report and we looked forward to that
magical five year mark when we got to use the other
"c" word. Cured! During this 5 year period,
Becky would experience more surgeries. Some related to
cancer and some unrelated. It gets quite old hearing,
"you have to have surgery." She took to this special type of photography and progressed very rapidly and eventually asked to begin teaching what she called "Pola-painting" at guild meetings and conventions around the country. The first year she entered professional contest, she received four out of four merit scores and three awards. Two of these images would go on to be selected for the PP of A Loan Collection. The second year she again received four merit scores and this time five awards. In the summer of 1999 the International Photography Hall of Fame took notice of her work and invited her to provide a large exhibition at the museum for a two month show. I was so very proud of her. Becky and I were very close and we enjoyed the opportunity to give presentations together to other photographers around the country. Helping her do her presentations was the most fun and rewarding thing I had ever done. It overshadowed everything I had accomplished in photography. I loved every moment of it. Becky had supported me in every way possible during the last twenty years. I taught my first year at Texas School of Professional Photography in 1996 and remember that she was right in the middle of chemo that week. She was very sick, weak, had no hair left on her head but she was there so we could be together. She looked after my speaking and business affairs with total devotion for two decades. It was a new joy for me to stand in the back of the room and run the projectors while she was on stage giving her program. I loved being there for her. Jennifer began school in 98 and still loves every minute of it. She has many interests. She loves art, photography, dolls, helicopters, and she also loves trains. We are G-scale model railroaders and she participates in all our railroading activities. She loves just about anything that the typical girl or boy would like. She is especially good with computers and somehow that has become common knowledge at school. The year she was in her second grade class, her first grade teacher came in and asked if she could borrow Jennifer for a few minutes to fix one of her computers. She did so and then returned to class with a modest smile. During Christmas 1998, she asked for and received a telescope. A big one. She loves astronomy and can show you quite a number of objects in the night sky. One thing that Jennifer truly loves is to go to photography conventions so she can see all of her friends. They are all adults I might add. She is just one of the family and is many times, the only kid dancing with the grownups at the costume balls and parties. She grew up in photography and has never missed a convention. In June of 1999 we saw a new development in our lives. Becky was again diagnosed with cancer. This time it was discovered during a hysterectomy. This was a total surprise to us and the surgeon as well. This particular type of cancer is not a good one to have (if there is such a thing) because it can be very aggressive and travel through the blood stream and take up residence in new locations. Again the emotional devastation and related stress from this new threat overwhelmed us. For this particular situation, chemo was not recommended because there was no evidence of spread. She did however have to endure 5 weeks of radiation to her lower abdomen. This treatment made her sick beginning on the second day. It was very rough on her. She made it a year and a half with nothing new to show but the optimism was to be short lived as the new cancer came back in her lungs in October of 2000. We waged a long and difficult fight through the holidays and into 2001 but the chemotherapy was just not having the effect that we had hoped and prayed for. She endured many long stays in the hospital, countless blood transfusions and even a painful chest tube to remove fluid from her lung. She did not deserve all this misery and I couldn’t make a real difference other than making her as comfortable as possible. I felt so totally helpless. In May of 2001 she was scheduled for yet another surgery to once again remove fluid from her lung. The days before that surgery were miserable. She could not get enough oxygen and suffered from hypoxia. She was confused and essentially unable to sleep other than for a few moments at a time while sitting up holding a pillow to her chest. She was not always fully aware of what was going on and at times would reach for things that were not there. Seeing my bride like this was torture beyond description. She received morphine regularly during this time. The day of the surgery finally arrived. It was May 23rd. Becky did quite well tolerating the surgery but after a while, the nurses became concerned that she was not waking up in the typical time frame. The hours went by and a visiting nurse named Janet, who is also a very dear friend put her arm around me and told me that Becky might not wake up. My world seemed to end at that moment. The tears would just not end. I gave orders that all three of the participating doctors be brought in. I needed to hear it from all three that there was nothing left for us to do. One by one, they all arrived and told me the same thing. She could be kept alive for a while but there was nothing they could do about the cancer in her lungs. The doctor had tried to prepare us for this but we kept hanging on to any thread of positive news that we could find. I was not expecting to lose her, this soon. The nurses
moved her out of surgical recovery and up to the oncology
floor where they had reserved our favorite room. Number
353. During the next few hours, family and friends
gathered in the room with Jennifer and myself. The nurses
from surgical recovery remained with us and said that
they would not leave. One nurse from the oncology floor
came in from being off duty to be with us upon hearing of
our situation. These nurses held each other and cried
openly. They truly loved caring from Becky. Losing
ones spouse cannot be described. The pain and
helplessness are terrible and the only small consolation
might be that the end for some, is seen coming. This
gives the survivors the opportunity to adjust to the
concept of losing our loved one and prepare for what is
ahead. God gave me incredible friends, family, and
medical professionals throughout this ordeal. Without
them I would not have made it. God also gave me strength
and a world wide group of prayer partners thanks to my
web site and the internet. These people made a huge
difference in our lives and I will always be grateful to
them. Becky
called all of the wonderful people who helped us,
“guardian angels.” These special people,
were there for us in ways far above and beyond the call. Jennifer and I are now doing well and stay very busy with the business of daily life. She loves so many things that I have trouble keeping up with her wide and varied interests. She is happy and healthy for which I am very grateful. In all the
years Becky and I were together, there were many
occasions where we would talk about the future. We spoke
about that unique subject that many couples seem to
avoid. The subject of "If something ever happens to
me...." We both knew that life was not a guarantee
and that no one knows how long they will be on this
Earth. She and I both agreed that if something ever
happened to one of us, that the other should feel at ease
about rebuilding their life. With this in mind and my
faith in God, I believe that if He sees fit, I will one
day again be a happily married man. God is in charge, He
is good and I trust Him in all things. I thank you for the time you spent learning a little about me and my family. I wish you long life, good health and prosperity.
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